Just Friends

If you follow Charlie Puth on social media, you will see that on his SnapChat story that he has been rumored to be dating many people. Singers like Selena Gomez, Meghan Trainor, and many different other famous names. The thing is that on his SnapChat he let the whole world know that he was totally single and that he was just friends with whoever the next rumored has it girl it was. He then followed up with the question of, “Can’t people be just friends?” I couldn’t agree with him more! (Sidenote: I wouldn’t mind however being more than just friends with Charlie. I mean have you heard him sing, and not to mention he’s attractive, funny, interesting, etc. Sorry to be fangirling. Back on topic.)

How many times have you been asked by people, “Are you two dating?”, “Are y’all an item?”, or “Would you ever consider dating him/her?”? I can tell you that when I had a guy friend that wasn’t in a relationship, married or talking to someone, this would be the question or questions I would hear so often. The questions seem to increase the more you are seen with him or as you start to get further into your 20s, and the only answer you can give these inquiring minds is, “We are JUST friends.”

But anyone who has seen When Harry Met Sally would tell you that guys and girls cannot stay just friends. Someone usually messes that dynamic up. Granted, this is true and honestly I never really believed that till just recently. However, I still believe in the fact that guys and girls can remain friends platonically.

To the significant other…
It can be tough especially if one starts dating. The whole duo can become complicated because the significant other may feel threaten.Can I just speak on behalf of those of us who are part of the “just friends” community? Significant others, if I really wanted to make a move on your boyfriend, fiance or whatever, I would have. So don’t worry, and honestly we just want to be your friend too. So just get to know the “just friend” and give them a chance. I say this because also just recently I thought that one of my guy friend’s girlfriend, now wife, hated me. However, there was a night that I was at his parents’ house and we hung out and it was awesome! Now his wife and I are on good terms and I seriously couldn’t imagine him with anyone else.

So to you significant others, if you are worried about your man or woman leaving you for their best friend, first get to know the friend, be more secure in your relationship, and if he/she has never made a move then chill! Honestly, if they haven’t pulled a My Best Friend’s Wedding move on you just yet then be friends with the friend.

To those who don’t believe in “just friends”…
Y’all men and women can be just friends. Sure it takes some work just like any other relationship, but it can happen. There are many guys who I have remained just friends with for a long time. Did I ever develop feelings for some of my guy friends? Sure, but then again they are my guy friends, I know the reality and I wouldn’t want to ruin the friendship. It can really happen.

To those who want more than to be “just friends”…
Let me tell you that it’s hard to go from being friends to being more than friends. I have seen it done, but then again I have gone through where it doesn’t. Each situation is different. Just be careful with your feelings, and if you feel like you need to pursue it, then be wary of rejection and make sure that you two talk it out. Most important of all, be open to STAYING FRIENDS! Whether that means going beyond friendship or staying friends.

All in all each situation is different. I have always dreamed of falling in love with my best guy friend. I’ve never thought of meeting someone randomly and falling for them. I’ve always have wanted to be friends first and then fall in love. However, that doesn’t always happen and I’m excited to see who my future husband is.


The Cake of Love

Engagements. It feels like when you are in your 20’s, almost every time you log onto Facebook, someone on your timeline is engaged. The “in a relationship” is seems to be the runner-up in statuses that pop up on Facebook among your friends. As a single person it can make you feel like you are doing something wrong with your life, missing out on something great or there may be something wrong with you as a person.

Recently, a friend of mine had just gotten out of a long term relationship. Being the consistent single friend in my group, she asked, “What do single people do?” At first my reaction was, “Really? You’re going to ask me that?” Then I realized that some people think that being single is the worst thing that could happen to a person, or maybe it’s that some have been in relationships for so long that they forget the freedom of being single. Now don’t get me wrong, I look forward to the day when I will meet my Mr. Right, but until then I want to enjoy my singleness. Consider for a bit some of the things singles can enjoy that couples can’t. I’m going to list three that basically encompasses a HUGE chunk of sinlgeness:
1. We can do things spontaneously without having to consider whether a significant other wants to go or if they need to know where we’re at. i.e. the movies, a weekend trip, unplanned hang outs, not making plans, free weekends, etc. I know that some of my girl friends are not able to do this because they have to plan their week out depending on their dates with their boyfriends/fiance.
2. Spending as much money as we want. I understand that you can’t go too crazy, simply because we would be broke! But consider the fact that if you love those fashion shoes in the store, and you can buy them because you don’t have to worry about saving money for a wedding. You can also get the $20 steak if you like! When you are single you have the time to spoil yourself a bit
3. Hanging out with the opposite sex as “just friends”. I have come through many obstacles lately with my guy friends who are in relationships because their girlfriends freak out when we hang out one-on-one. I’m not the type to make a move on a guy and so it hurts when someone who you are close to starts distancing themselves. When you are single you can hang out with other singles without fear of losing them as friends because they are not in relationships.

The list can can go on and on, and sure there are days when you feel like you’re the only one who can’t find someone and this list seems lonely and boring. Trust me I’ve been there. Let me tell you right now God has someone special for you and there is NOTHING wrong with you.

In the Bible, there is a chapter known as the love chapter. It is in 2 Corinthians. Now this chapter is for everyone in any situation single or in a relationship. Today I want to look a few verses from that chapter. One in particular right now is 2 Corinthians 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

If you are single and struggling with thinking that the perfect guy/girl doesn’t exist. Just remember he or she DOES! Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t chase after a guy or girl just because everyone else has someone. If you do you will be missing out on a love that “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” There is someone out there for you. Just because you may be ready for them God knows that they may not be ready for you.

That special someone could be going through a rough patch in their life, and God knows that if you were to meet him or her you may not like them. God is the Master Matchmaker and he can cook up the best love that there is.

Let’s look at this two layered cake of love. First you will need the right ingredients. Those ingredients can be found in the love chapter of 2 Corinthians 13:4-13. These two layers are you and your future love. Now you may be ready to go into the oven, but you significant other may not have all the right ingredients yet. They may be looking for love that is patient, kind, etc. Yet, once both of you are ready God will put you in that oven of love. Now it is going to take time to cook. It may be a few months or a few years, but don’t rush the cooking. Time is a precious thing. You don’t want your cake of love to burn. Take this verse for consideration from Song of Solomon 8:4. “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” So take your time!

Once the timer has gone off God will take the two cakes out and make a beautiful two layered cake. He will add frosting, beautiful decorations, and a topper. This whole cake will be beautiful because God has blessed it.

Now this entire analogy may seem weird or different, but just remember that God has a handle on your love story and He knows when the perfect time is going to be for you. All you have to do is allow Him to make your cake.